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As you can imagine, I have quite a bit of time on my hands these days.  And that leaves plenty of TV watching opportunities.  For some reason, I’m able to watch the Food Network, but I can’t look at raw food at my own house.  And Little House on the Prairie is on 3 times a day, much to my delight.  But here’s a new show that I really love:

He’s a nice looking Aussie chef that finds someone in a grocery store, buys things for a gourmet meal, pays the bill, then goes to their home to cook the meal for their family/boyfriend/friends/etc.  Kind of a fun concept and he’s just delightful.  It’s on TLC on Fri nights, but re-runs during the week.

In other news, I wanted to read Caleb a book yesterday at nap time.  He threw a colossal fit and screamed "But I want Erin to read it!".  Lovely.  It’s a good thing I like Erin, and know that this arrangement is just temporary and one day soon he’ll be stuck without a choice…it’s me or NO book.

I finally got around to downloading our pics from the last month…although there weren’t many.  Thought I would post them just for the simple reason of not having anything better to post!

Derek, Michael and Jacob fishin’, Caleb and his worm = a good catch!

Back in April we potted some tomato plants in pots on the back porch.  And wouldn’t you know they actually grew!  Caleb loves to pick ’em.  Wish I felt better and I’d actually taste one…I’ll leave it to the guys this year to tell me how they are.

My guys on Father’s Day.

Derek got some movies today for Father’s Day…in the same box they were shipped in.  No ribbons or bows.  No special dinners or desserts.  No breakfast in bed.  No special cards from me, although the boys had some cute ones they had made.  I feel bad about it.  I wish it were different today.  But I keep assuring him that next year, I’ll make up for it!  Frankly, anything I do next year will be better than this one! 🙂

You know the old adage, "when it rains it pours".  We just got a call from the nanny…she can’t be here Mon – Wed.  And, Derek broke his toe yesterday.  I can’t look at it without getting nauseated (oh, wait, I feel that way all the time!).

Let’s end on a happy note…

Am reading a book about marriage, Covenant Hearts, by Bruce C. Hafen, a member of our church.  He’s been in family law for 30 years and has written a book that I really admire and am enjoying.  In the chapter I read today he talks about the fact that marriage does not mean one has to lose personal identity.  (Although in previous chapters he also discusses the new wave of individualism that is plaguing traditional marriage.)  He quotes Kahlil Gibran:

But let there be spaces in your togetherness,

And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

————————————————-

Sing and dance together and be joyous,

but let each one of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone

though they quiver with the same music.

————————————————

And stand together yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow

not in each other’s shadow.

I like that.

when my 3-year old looks me square in the eye and says in a very serious tone, "Mom, maybe we should not have wished for this baby."

Talk about a knife thru the heart. 

And then today at lunch Jacob confessed that he does mini-counseling sessions each night with Caleb.  He said that "Caleb’s sad every night about you being sick."  Oh, really, I ask?  "Yea, he makes this face (shows me a big frown) and climbs up the ladder and I talk to him about it."  What do you say? I ask.  "I just tell him you’ll be better as soon as you push the baby out.  Then things will be better."

That’s when I have to do mantras like this…"this too shall pass…this is worth it in the end…this too shall pass…this is worth it in the end…".  And I tell myself that this time next year it will be a thing of the past…just a bad memory…but with a happy ending.

Well…nothing has changed here as far as my health goes.  But it hasn’t stopped us from cheering for the Mavs. 

Our favorite saying around here is, "Give it to the German". 

**EDITED** The Mavs lost in Game 6 of the NBA Championships to the Miami Heat.  It was a sad, sad day. 🙂

I’m enjoying watching the boys dance and sing to my newest downloads…thanks, in part, to American Idol.  Here they are…we joke that No.2 could be my 1st trimester theme song. 🙂

Download kt_tunstall_black_horse_and_the_cherry_tree_youre_not_the_one_for_me.mp3

Download daniel_powter_you_had_a_bad_day.mp3 

Not much to report this week.  I’m struggling with the nausea and vomiting and spending every day in bed or on the couch.  I’ve lost 7 pounds in a week and a half…I’m thinkin’ that’s about the only good news. 🙂  Had issues with dehydration mid-week, but that has improved with cranberry juice, my new drink of choice.  I was sad to see Derek go back to work this morning, but am relieved to be getting some help from Erin, our new 16-year old "nanny".  She’ll be here 5 hours each day thru the summer, with the exception of some vacation weeks with church and her family.  I am most excited that she’ll be able to make lunch for the boys each day…a big load off for me!

Wish I had pictures downloaded, but I don’t…so I’ll just have to share some stories:

For the Kindergarten awards last week, Jacob’s teacher gave each student an award based around a candy.  He got the 3 Musketeers award for being a great and supportive team player.  She said that he was always willing to help her with errands or chores around the room.  And we’ve been told that he’s the official "take-to-the-nurse" delegate, for two reasons…he’s compassionate and concerned about people, and he loves the cute nurse!  Anyway…it occurred to me that out of all of the awards he could have gotten (most improved reading and writing, etc.) I was so proud that he got an award based on character.  He’s a tender soul and is helpful, and I’m really lucky to have him. 

And not to leave out Caleb…he went fishing yesterday with Derek, Jacob, Uncle Mike and Aunt Olivia.  Had the time of his life because he caught 2 fish to everyone else’s 1.  And felt very proud of himself.  He even named one of them.  And later in the day, said, "I really miss Flipper."  Too funny.

This is probably the first of a few pathetic posts that will be written in the next few weeks.  The nausea is settling in and the fatigue with it.  And, for me, it is a minute by minute battle that makes these days some of the longest ever.  Of course, the blessing is that I have something to look forward to…a huge gift at the end of it all.  And for that, I’m grateful.  But in the meantime, I have to slowly take each breath and each minute as they come.  Deciding every 20 minutes, what to nibble on next.  Trying not to breathe threw my nose because the smell of my own house is just too much to take. 

Derek left for Cali this morning.  Chopped up stuff, cooked stuff, left it in the fridge for the boys.  Yesterday after church I was glued to the couch.  I asked Jacob to make lunch and put Caleb to bed.  Here’s what he made:

Strawberry Sandwiches

2 pieces of bread

6 cut-up strawberries

Insert strawberries between bread and eat.

They were both delighted!

Then he read a book to Caleb and tucked him in. 

Good, good boys…

Lots to talk about on this post…

1st and most important, we’re having another baby!  Yeah!  We’re all very excited.  And one of us is very tired.  Here are some funny/endearing moments by the boys in regards to their new baby:

a) When we told Jacob he got teary-eyed and threw his arms around my neck.  I asked him if he was sad and he replied, "No, Mom!  These are happy tears."  He won’t stop talking to my stomach despite us explaning that the baby doesn’t have ears yet.  Later that night I was laying in his bed with him and he said, with this far-away look in his eyes, "Mom, I’m really happy."  THAT will make every ounce of nausea worth it!

b) Caleb asked, "Does the baby have any clothes on?"  Jacob was quick to give the answer and then they giggled the rest of the night about the baby being naked! 

c)  Jacob has decided he has taken on the role of "mommy’s dietician", telling me what I should and should not eat that’s good for the baby.  Let me tell you…that gets old pretty quick. 🙂

So here’s a first look.  Due on January 11th.

The line drawn is the baby.  Not much to see…only 3 mm in size.  But the heart was pumping strong…that was amazing.

FIELD DAY highlights:

Oh…the ladies man! 

And finally, here’s a picture of the gift Derek bought for us to announce our news to the boys.  Jacob goes around telling people that there’s a 50/50 chance that it’s a girl.  Caleb chimes in and says there’s a 61% chance it’s a girl.  Go figure. 🙂

Someone get me TIVO already!  My fingers are numb from switching between the Amazing Race finale, LOST, and American IDOL tonight from 8-9. 

Did you see the ratios of the votes for the Idols?  Each of them had 33.something% of the votes!  Amazing.  I guess that means each of my 5 votes for Kat and 5 votes for Taylor last night might have been just what they needed!  I hate to gloat, but those two have been my two favorites from the beginning and I single-handedly picked them for the final 2.  But I won’t brag.

And the hippies won the Amazing Race!  Oh, happy day.  They seem like genuine good guys…weird, but good.  And not nearly as hair-brained as those indecent frat boys.

And LOST well, LOST keeps me lost…which I like.  The finale next week will be good.  But I think it’s at the same time as the American Idol finale…somebody help me!

(It just occurred to me as I re-read this post, that someday I will look back on these insightful entries into my blog journal and wonder "What on earth was I doing spending so much time in front of the TV?!?")