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Here I sit.  Not quite sure what to do with myself – although I can think of a million things that need to be done.  Samuel's watching a cartoon.  Derek's at work.  And Jacob and Caleb are off at their first day of 4th grade and 1st grade, respectively.  The first day is always tender for me…a milestone among many.  The end of a great summer.  Seeing my kiddos walk into the unknown…a little scared and fearful, but brave nonetheless. 

We all woke up early.  I had spent time last night packing lunches and preparing a special breakfast.  Turns out the boys aren't big fans of my German Apple Pancakes.  They were gracious about it - Jacob ate one out of obligation.  Caleb refused politely.  I guess I need to pick a different "special" breakfast.

There were some tears.  Caleb left the room after sulking about the pancake (did I say they were gracious about it?) and came back with a red face and swollen eyes.  When Caleb is upset he goes mute.  No words will escape his tongue.  He just rubs his eyes incessantly and stifles the inevitable tears.  He plopped down next to me at the table and cried.  Nerves, I decided.  I poured on some extra TLC just for him.  And Jacob did too.  Poor guy.  He didn't talk the rest of the morning…just reached for my hand and held it tight all the way until he walked in his classroom.

Jacob was up before his alarm.  Dressed and ready to go.  Bubbly with excitement saying things like "I can't believe I'm in fourth grade" and "Boy, summer sure went fast."  Cute boy.

And I fought back a few tears myself – like when we all looked at Samuel furiously stuffing his mouth with vanilla yogurt and apple pancake (he liked it!) and realized he had no idea that his world was about to get very quiet and a little lonely.  He has followed "Jabub" and "Cabub" everywhere this summer.  And when we kneeled in family prayer and asked for the protection and blessings of heaven to be with them as they ventured in to their new adventures.  Or when Caleb laid his head on my shoulder or reached for my arm while getting ready.  I love these boys.  I miss them when they're gone. 

But these are the things of life.  And they have great teachers this year.  Mrs. Pompey and Mrs. Olson.  And routine is good.  Learning is good. 

They are good.