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I wrote this post on Friday – but decided to hold on to it…it didn't feel right to publish it just yet.  This morning we received word that the friend I mention in this post, Nita Shanafelt, died.  She was a wife, mother, sister, daughter and friend.  She will be sorely missed and was loved for her gentle, quiet and humble ways.  My experience with her this week was one I will treasure.  I bought her an Arby's turkey sandwich because she was so hungry.  She had been on a strict diet of broth and berries but was so weak and hungry.  We giggled about hiding her "contraband" and I swore I would take the fall if anyone saw it. :)  Samuel was with me that day and he would giggle in the back seat or point and grunt at birds and cows, and she would lay her head on the headrest and smile.  Her tears flowed easily as she talked about her kids and her sisters, who had just been visiting.  Thank you, Nita, for reminding me to savor every day and to not take them for granted.  You are loved.

One of my favorite singer/songwriters is Hilary Weeks, an LDS artist.  Dana first introduced me to her music years ago and 5 CD's later, I'm still hooked.  Her latest CD is called "If I Only Had Today".  And that title track is my favorite on the album.  It's a beautiful song, and the chorus talks about what she would do if she only had today…

I'd hold you and listen

And I'd let the dishes sit in the sink

I'd tell you I loved you over and over

And for once I'd just let the phone ring

Then I'd remind you of forever

And how our love would never change

If I only had today

This week I got to spend the better part of the day – 6 hours to be exact – with a woman from church who has lymphoma.  This is her second battle with the disease.  The first she won, but only temporarily.  Now she battles again, but to no avail.  I am only one of many friends and "sisters" who have helped her.  This week, I simply answered a call for help in taking her to an alternative treatment about an hour from her home.  But I had no idea what a blessing it would be to share that time with her.  Her journey is ending…heaven is close.  Being able to visit with her and listen and feel her heart was an experience I will never forget. 

It has left me pondering this week – how would I want to spend my last days?  What choices would I make?  And I reflect on this song, and I'm sure that I know exactly how I would want to spend it.  With my family.  With my friends.  Holding their hands.  Sharing love.  Offering hope.  Kissing cheeks.  Telling stories.  Remembering.  Reminding. 

I'd hold you and listen

I'd memorize every detail of your face

I'd tell you I loved you over and over

I wouldn't let excuses get in the way

Then I'd remind you of forever

And how our love would never change

If I only had today.