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A small group of friends have decided to do something called a "Mothers Who Know Challenge" based on THIS talk, of the same name, by the General Relief Society (women's organization) President of our Church, Julie B. Beck. 

Every two weeks we take a section from this talk and study it individually, some are even memorizing it.  I keep printed and around the house and try to read it as often as I see it, making notes and pondering its words as I do so.  Then we get together after those weeks are up and discuss what we learned and how we implemented changes from our learning.

Our first section was this one…

Mothers Who Know Are Nurturers

Mothers who know are nurturers. This is their special assignment and role under the plan of happiness. To nurture means to cultivate, care for, and make grow. Therefore, mothers who know create a climate for spiritual and temporal growth in their homes. Another word for nurturing is homemaking. Homemaking includes cooking, washing clothes and dishes, and keeping an orderly home. Home is where women have the most power and influence; therefore, Latter-day Saint women should be the best homemakers in the world. Working beside children in homemaking tasks creates opportunities to teach and model qualities children should emulate. Nurturing mothers are knowledgeable, but all the education women attain will avail them nothing if they do not have the skill to make a home that creates a climate for spiritual growth. Growth happens best in a "house of order," and women should pattern their homes after the Lord's house. Nurturing requires organization, patience, love, and work. Helping growth occur through nurturing is truly a powerful and influential role bestowed on women. 

One of the things that I loved was the emphasis on homemaking and order and their impact on the climate of the home.  I often find myself resisting or grumbling about the mundane chores and tasks that are part of my responsibility.  I don't like the monotony!  Or the frequency!  But this study helped me find greater meaning and importance in these seemingly ordinary tasks.  I recognize that they are part of the way I nurture my family.  That by doing them well I can create a climate for growth in my home…which is so important to me.  My friend, Emily, studied the parable of the sower in the New Testament and how it relates to our children.  I loved her thoughts and have spent time pondering on them.

This week we are studying this section…

Mothers Who Know Do Less

Mothers who know do less. They permit less of what will not bear good fruit eternally. They allow less media in their homes, less distraction, less activity that draws their children away from their home. Mothers who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world's goods in order to spend more time with their children—more time eating together, more time working together, more time reading together, more time talking, laughing, singing, and exemplifying. These mothers choose carefully and do not try to choose it all. Their goal is to prepare a rising generation of children who will take the gospel of Jesus Christ into the entire world. Their goal is to prepare future fathers and mothers who will be builders of the Lord's kingdom for the next 50 years. That is influence; that is power.

I giggle to myself on this one, as many of you are probably giggling at me also.  This one is hard for me!  I come from the school of thought that says "mothers do MORE", "mothers do EVERYTHING!", "mothers do it ALL!".  I am guilty!  But I am also beginning to recognize the importance of stepping back, spending more time at home, spending more time pondering how to teach, how to help, how to raise my children.  I am trying to choose more carefully.  I am trying to allow LESS of what will not be meaningful and MORE of what will. 

I love this challenge and am grateful for the words of this inspired and righteous woman.

Just last night I was struggling with frustrations in motherhood.  Disappointments and discouragement have plagued me for the last week, as I watch the boys not meet expectations from loving teachers and leaders.  I was wondering if anything I say or do gets through to them.  I felt that they had stopped listening and were sailing off without life vest, paddles or even sails!  I felt that maybe my failures and shortcomings were making it impossible for them to succeed or progress. 

Before bed, I read a talk by another of our Church leaders, President Henry B Eyring.  In it he discusses the importance of teaching…how and what to teach.  It gave me hope that all was not lost.  I was able to recognize some things that I have done right and some things that I can improve on.  I want to be a better teacher…a more inspired teacher for my children. 

So much to learn…

Maybe, just maybe, my kids will survive me as their mother afterall.

We had an evening in Paris!  We were treated to wonderful French food – so divine!  Our sweet hostesses, Michele and Amy, completely spoiled us.

  

We have strict GC rules to not be late, but to not arrive early either!  Here we are waiting outside before knocking at 7:00 sharp! 🙂

 

 

Here's the menu:

Frozen Lemonade with Blackberry Puree (delicious!)

Rosemary Cashews (divine!)

Gruyere Herb Puffs

Toasted Baguette with Goat Cheese and Sun-Dried Tomato

Mushroom Soup in Croute (a favorite for me) 

Asparagus with Hollandaise

Beef Bourguignon (wow!)

Endive and Red Leaf Salad with Gorgonzola and Walnuts

Cheese Plate

Stuffed French Crepes with Raspberry Sauce

Hot Cocoa

That's a lot of food! I was stuffed half way through!  Really yummy.

 

 

And a funny story – I happened to wear pig tails to this event.  I had gotten some sun and wanted my hair off my neck, and well – was feeling a little sassy, so I wore pig tails.  As I was taking this group picture of all the lovely ladies, I backed in to a small candle that was sitting on the winding stair case.  And MY HAIR CAUGHT ON FIRE!  First I smelled it, then I felt heat, and quickly I was snuffing out my hair and making sure my clothes weren't on fire.  In the meantime, my friend Christi almost had a stroke as a result – all she could do was clap her hands at me – she couldn't speak!  THANKFULLY only the ends of one section were singed, and I caught it before it got really bad.  For that I am very thankful – it could have been bad.  But we all got a good laugh out of it – especially Christi's reaction. 

We had a happy one for sure!  I love Easter…remembering the Savior, reverently going to church in new clothes and spring colors, looking for Easter baskets on Sunday morning, hunting for plastic eggs as often as chances allow, dying Easter eggs, eating yummy food.  It was fabulous!

We had a good time celebrating with friends on Saturday.  The kids dove in the pool to hunt for Easter eggs and our hostess made the MOST adorable cupcakes and shrimp boil.  Wow!  So fun…

 

 

The rest of Saturday was spent preparing for Sunday – dinner prep, table prep (using my great-grandmother's china and pink depression glass from my stepmom), ironing clothes, etc…that is until I stuffed myself at Gourmet Club (more on that tomorrow).

 

 

Sunday was spent at church and then enjoying my family here for dinner.  Nana, Grandma Kake, (we missed Steve who is still in San Diego on a trial), Michael, Olivia, (and their dog Elle), Mark, and Anne.  I made toasted spice and honey ham, mashed red potatoes with gorgonzola cheese, corn casserole (family favorite), roasted asparagus, and a lemon trifle (it looked pretty, but I probably wouldn't do it again).  Then the uncles/aunts hid eggs in the backyard for the littles.  Fun times with family…I love holidays!

 

Samuel with his new lollipop drum!

 

A hunting we will go!

 

 

 

I was so proud when Samuel (of all people) spotted the highest and most out of reach egg, hidden by his Uncle Mike on the not-yet-a-zip-line-post.  Way to go, Sam!

 

 

 

This is not usually a time of day that I see.  I'm typically a 7 am riser, and even then I need a nap in the afternoon!  But a gal from church is a personal trainer and offered to do a Boot Camp for those that wanted to.  So on Tues and Thurs mornings we're going to meet at 5:45 am and work out.  Today was my first day, and my body feels like a jelly roll.  But this is SO GOOD for me. 

We are looking for more people to participate, so if you read this and have interest, e-mail me!

In the last 24 hours I have taken on two big projects for the school.  I HATE to see things fall through the cracks or worse, ignored, and particularly when it comes to kids.  So now I'm organizing a booth at the District's "Songfest" and organizing our school's efforts to be at the end-of-year Roughriders (baseball) game that the District PTAs sponsor.  Call me crazy…

AND – did anyone else JUST realize that MAY is just around the corner.  Which means that summer is just around the corner too?  I still think Samuel JUST turned two (Jan 1st).  How did this happen?  I'm working on planning summer camps and summer vacation and swimming lessons, etc.  Yikes!

Work to do – gotta go!

Twice a year, in April and October, our Church holds a General Conference where messages are shared from our General leaders.  It is aired on BYU-TV and we watch 4 sessions (2-hours each) in our home over the Sat and Sun. 

I LOVE these weekends.  We stop what we're doing and gather in the living room and listen.  The kids color and play quietly (generally).  This weekend I worked on embroidery while listening. 

The messages are pertinent, hopeful and revelatory.  They are full of counsel and instruction.  They are uplifting and inspiring.  They are later published in our Church magazine so we can read over them.

On Saturday morning I went to a sunrise testimony breakfast with other women in our ward.  It was a lovely time for fellowship and renewal.

One of our traditions is to have a big breakfast/brunch on the Sunday morning of Conference.  Derek's sister Audra joins us.

Another tradition (for the last two years) is that we get together with the Hicken's and Dalebout's (usually at D's home) for the last session of the Conference (Sunday afternoon) and have a delicious dinner together afterwards. 

During this Conference, a new apostle was called, Neil L. Andersen.  You can read more about him HERE.

Another highlight was hearing the name of our friend, former bishop and current Stake President, Jonathan Roberts, read in as a new Area Authority Seventy.  What an exciting time for him and his family!

I feel renewed and re-energized…it was a lovely weekend!

Samuel had a busy morning…

dumped his baggie of goldfish upstairs in the gameroom

turned on every light in the house using a stool or a chair

found a heavily iced ELMO cupcake that his aunt had given him and figured out a way to get to it (by dropping the container of goodies on the floor) and then proceeded to eat it, but only after smothering red icing on the tile

took a marker to his hands (both sides)

found a box of Nerds from a brother's party bag and was able to open it…said "yum" as I took it away from him

put pieces of cheese stick in his cup of peaches

put peaches in his cup of orange juice

dumped orange juice down the front of his shirt

…and now he's in bed for a much needed nap, and it's only 12 noon.

I need a nap…and a power washer.

 

Running on the trampoline, March 2009

I just got chewed out by a member of the PTA Board for the second time this week – same person, different matters each time.  She uses foul language, raises her voice, etc, etc.  I don't understand it – at all.  I can't imagine ever yelling at someone (other than my kids on very occasional, unfortunate slip-ups…and now I feel worse than ever about it).  And the foul language, between respecting adults, just blows my mind…so unnecessary. 

And I just stand there – completely speechless.  When she yelled at me on the phone about something I had done, I almost cried.  I've always been like that – even in the 5th grade when I was caught with chewing gum by my math teacher, I had to fight back tears.  I don't like to get in trouble.  I don't like to be yelled at.  And today on her doorstep, I was just the messenger.  She was actually mad at someone else today.  And I just stood there, with big eyes, like a puppy dog…unable to reply for fear that she would keep going.  So when she closed the door, I turned and sighed and left.

Miserable.  Just miserable.

With all of my attempts at creative posts lately (emphasis on attempts), I feel like I have not recorded many of the ins-and-outs, daily busy-ness around here.  This post is mainly for my own records.

1.  PTA:  I have been buried with PTA responsibilities, but have felt good about the outcomes.  We raised $1,750 this year thru Box Tops and I throw a popcorn party for the classroom that brings in the most.  This semester it was a 5th grade class – we played a type of BINGO with questions they answer about themselves, and they were delightful.  I love the label of "Box Top Lady"!  But I am passing that torch on to someone else for next year.  In addition to my normal job of VP over Membership, I took on the role of Nominating Committee Chair for the 2009-2010 PTA Board.  This has entailed a month and a half of e-mails, phone calls, and a tad bit of drama (some people wanting to oust the current President, but I didn't have the heart to do it so I found her an "aide").  Last night's election ends that responsibility.  AND I have been in charge of the annual Lifetime Membership Award.  Every year we choose recipients to receive this distinguised honor.  It involves buying the award, gifts from the PTA, banquet tickets, working with the family in secret to get pictures and bio info, and presenting it all at an assembly.  It was a neat thing to be a part of.  We awarded them to our PE coach and Music Teacher, who also happen to be husband and wife.  They are very deserving and were surprised.

2.  Girls Camp: I am over Programs for our Stake Girls Camp…a weeklong Church camp for about 200+ girls and leaders.  I mainly coordinate the evening "fun" and spiritual activities.  I LOVE Girls Camp!  I love being with the adult leaders who I respect and enjoy, and I love being with these young women who are so good and faithful and fun.  I'm so lucky to be asked to go…again!  I am writing (with the help of 2 other great leaders) a program called "Women of Light" based on the stories of women in the scriptures.  There will be actors, costumes, videos, music, etc.  My favorite part is that we will portray the parable of the 10 virgins with actual oil lamps.  And a choir of all the girls in the Stake.  It will be WONDERFUL.  I am sobered by the amount of work and by the awesome responsibility of pulling it off.  But I'm also very excited and feel lead and inspired.  I am also making necklaces (and learning some jewelry-making skills) for all of the attendees (they have an oil lamp charm on them).  I've also been busy making "tin can luminaries" because I've asked all of the girls to bring one to camp.  LOTS to do – but I'm having a lot of fun with it.

3.  Jacob continues to amaze us with his intellectual abilities.  His grades are outstanding…he got a perfect score on the Reading TAKS test.  I'm amazed at the power of his young brain.  Our challenge is helping him with self-control and self-discipline.  He has demonstrated a temper recently – particularly with his brothers.  And continues to struggle with thinking before he acts.  These things will come in time I think.  He's a good boy and loves being with his dad and I – I think he is maturing and enjoys adult conversation and contact.  He's excited about the piece he's learning in piano. 

4.  Caleb seems to have completely recovered from his tonsilectomy, but I don't think he's kicked the mono yet.  He still struggles with fatigue, headaches and dizziness.  How do you get a 6-year old to lie down and rest?  It's tough.  He's missed 11 days of school this year…we're hoping there won't be too many more.  He's really taking off with reading lately and is delighted by it.  I love listening to new readers when they start gaining in confidence…so fun!

5.  Samuel is doing so well in speech therapy.  We continue to have Ms. Kristen come to the house each Wednesday.  Samuel will try almost anything we ask of him now, which is a big improvement.  He used to shake his head and whine when we requested words from him.  We're currently working on trying to say two word statements "Go-choo-choo" (bo, do-doo), "Milk please", etc.  He'll spontaneously say "more, help, apple (babble), eat, shoe, no (mo), and go (bo)".  He LOVES to color and I recently found glue all over the couch upstairs.  He is social and pleasant and hungry all the time. :)  I love his angelic features and sweet demeanor. 

6.  Derek works out 6 days a week and has for 6 months now.  He is FIT.  I'm really proud of him.  The only downside is that his metabolism is at supersonic speed and he is eating every 2 hours – I can't keep groceries in the house!  He works from home quite a bit these days, since his boss and team are all in California.  It's nice to eat lunch together, and I can sometimes run errands while Samuel is sleeping.  He is always helping me with little projects for Girls Camp – I love how handy he is.

7.  I am attempting to reupholster a chair cushion using fabric from other chair cushions.  I am in over my head, to say the least.  Pictures to come…if I ever finish!

We are busy.  We are happy.  Life is good.

Last week I had a moment.  A moment where time stopped.  And my spirit connected with heaven in a small way that was significant only to me.  And in that moment I realized that I was needing to do more as a mother.  It wasn't guilt, necessarily, or a feeling of discouragement.  It was a realization that these spirits that have been sent to me needed, deserved and were ready for MORE.  More teaching, more love, more time.  They need their buckets filled.  They need to be nurtured and cared for in a way that only I can give them.  They need to be taught correct principles and allowed to govern themselves in those principles, at times and as age allows.  I feel like the day-to-day hustle and bustle has distracted me from the important teaching moments that they need.  I want to be more creative, more thoughtful and more deliberate in my mothering.  I want to be more in the moment with them.  I think for awhile now I have been going through the motions and trying my best, but I am wanting to up my game.  Give more.  Try harder.  Pray more.  Work harder.  All in an effort to help these three boys become the best they can be.