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Today’s is a "heavy" post.  If you’re in a "light" mood, you might want to save it for another day!  Not sure why…just been on my mind for a while and culminated in hearing a song that I love over the weekend.  It also stems from the sermon at my dad’s church on Sunday…asking the question, Why does God allow bad things to happen? 

I heard this song months ago and then when I had a friend going thru a sudden divorce I wrote down the lyrics for her and gave them in a letter.  After 12 years of marriage, and two young children, her husband decided he wasn’t satisfied, and wanted out.  No explanations that made sense.  No warning.  All of her plans for the future were changed in one evening. 

My life has been a good one…relatively free from a lot of the pain seen in the world.  Although even I have had moments of sudden sadness and loss…divorce, death, disappointment.  But so many have had much more than I…loss of spouse, child, job, home, the future as they hoped it would be, etc.

My realization is, and it is reiterated in this song by Natalie Grant, that we were never promised to be spared.  Never promised to live lifes without grief and pain.  God has not promised me another day with my kids…another day with Derek…another day with my parents or grandparents.  He’s told me to enjoy today.  To find joy in it.  We were never promised to be spared, but we were promised, as the song says, to be HELD.  And I believe that we will be.

That’s what the Savior’s role is.  That’s why He asks us to let Him carry our burdens.  To hand it over.  HE has "bourne our griefs and carried our sorrows".  HE takes upon Himself pains, sicknesses, death, infirmities, and sins (not just our own, but those of others who may have harmed us thru their sins).   I have felt and have always believed that there truly is a "peace that passeth understanding".  And I’m grateful.  I certainly don’t think it makes things any easier…just manageable and worth it.

I’ll go back to being my silly, pointless self tomorrow.  Just filled with gratitude for that knowledge and wanted to share. 

Here’s the song (click on it to listen):

Download natalie_grant_held.mp3

We’re back from a trip to Austin…it included massive traffic, hand-me-down furniture, and me as sick as a dog (viral infection in my throat and flu-like symptoms).  We’re glad to be home, but enjoyed time with family and I realized how beautiful Austin is…why do I live somewhere where the only thing I see out my back window is someone else’s fence?  Definitely needing to landscape this spring.

My boys are out jumping on the trampoline this morning (the best invention ever made in my opinion…especially ours with "walls").

They came in with the following dispute:

MOM?!

MOM?!

yes?

CALEB DOESN’T BELIEVE ME.

doesn’t believe what?

HE THINKS WE ONLY GET TO ROLL THE BALL, BUT I WANT TO KICK IT AND I SAY I CAN DO IT MY WAY.

(insert caleb) BUT I THINK HE HAS TO ROLL IT.

BUT I WANT TO KICK IT AND HE DOESN’T BELIEVE THAT I CAN DO IT.

YES, I DO, BUT I WANT TO ROLL IT!

boys, don’t you think you could both do what you want…take turns, roll it and kick it?

NO!

NO!

well, i can’t help you then if you’re not willing to compromise.

(insert a stare down between them)

OK, JACOB, I BELIEVE YOU.

OK. LET’S GO PLAY THEN!

huh?  what just happened there?  i have no idea.

all i know, is that if that involved girls there would have been sulking and pouting and other emotional things.

but instead it’s boys, speaking a language all their own and getting over it in a matter of seconds.

love that.

then they come in asking me to call the 10-year old boy across the street.  they just assume he would love to play with them (ages 6 and 3).  he does.  another thing i love about boys.

Ok…here’s my "going to church" doll…

Derek’s home from work saying "uh, hunny, I think it’s time to go play with your son." 🙂

Just one more doll!

Saw this on someone’s blog and thought it would be fun.  Harder than it looks!  The clothes are definitely me (love those turquoise flip flops!)…the face, not so much…the hair, maybe on a good day.  And the body, well…I wish.  Caleb says it looks like "one of your girls"…meaning the 10-12 year old girls I teach at Sunday School.  I told him it is supposed to look like me.  His response, "uhhh…no, mom".  Thanks, Caleb. 🙂

Try it for yourself here:  http://elouai.com/doll-makers/candybar-doll-maker.php

And send me the results!

Ok.  So you know I’ve been giving kitchen updates and well, this should be the post where I say, I FINISHED!  Yea…it should be.  But it isn’t.  I was finished.  WAS being the important word here.  But then I started to think you know that little area (2 foot by 2 foot) on that big wall where I started?…I don’t like how it looks so much, so I think I’ll paint over it and just re-do that one small space.  Then I’ll be done. 

MISTAKE.  Bad Mistake.  After leaving the painted spot over the weekend, I tried to re-do it last night with the stain.  It looks TERRIBLE…and I do mean terrible.  Obviously you’re not supposed to re-do in this technique of faux painting.  This is how bad it was…

I ran to my bedroom crying.  Locked the door.  Went to bed at 8:30 last night.

Derek stayed up for 2 hours trying to sand the paint off the wall with the power sander.  Yea.  Pathetic. 

I think I’m going to have to paint the whole wall and re-do it.  After 30 HOURS of labor, I’m going to have to re-do the part that took 10 hours of it.  A 15 foot by 11 foot wall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Cry me a river.

That’s our favorite phrase around here these days.  The boys negotiate bedtime with it.  "Go to bed – Deal.  Stay up and read another book – No Deal!"  You have to watch the show to know…but "NO DEAL" is the usual response!  We love to watch it as a family (sans the primetime commercials which we make the boys turn around for…DEREK WE NEED TIVO!).  It takes no smarts (like previous successful primtime gameshows) and requires no preparation…just good old-fashioned luck and a little "no when to walk away" financial savviness.  The boys jump on the couch screaming "NO DEAL!", which indicates that they’re going to go for more money.  We love it.

I had a great time on my short, but fun-filled girls weekend.  I love "girl" time…we ate great food, shopped, talked (a lot), and went to a great conference.  I felt rejuvenated and revived and inspired to be better when I got home…and if those things aren’t worthy of two days away, I don’t know what is.  Dana and I got a picture with one of the most talented women we know…well, we like to pretend that we actually know her (Hilary Weeks)…this girl can sing and play the piano like no one I know.  And we love her music…I know every song by heart.  Very fun…

Derek and I have never seen the show Grey’s Anatomy.  But we learned tonight on the Baba Wawa special, that the two main characters (who happen to be romantically involved) share our names!  Never mind the fact that on the show Derek is having an affair with Meredith!  How many times do you see your names on TV…and linked like that?!

            

WEATHER

This image came from the local ABC website…a RECORD high in Dallas today.  It felt like June…late June, for that matter.  And it broke a 107-year record!!  I hope this isn’t the beginning of a very LONG and hot summer.

SLEEPING ON THE JOB

Well, technically, I wasn’t on the clock, but it still seems ridiculous.  Today while Caleb was in music class I went to the car to read a book and it was getting pretty warm (see WEATHER) and I was getting kind of tired (See SLEEP 101 – previous post)…and well, I must have fallen asleep…FAST ASLEEP.  The next thing I know there was another mom knocking on my window telling me it was time to come in for the parent/child section of the class.  And of course they were all waiting on me wondering why I was still sitting in my car.  I was SO embarassed.  I mean I was DEAD asleep…can’t remember anything, probably drooling and snoring and the whole bit.  Now tell me that isn’t a sign of sleep deprivation!

ARTILLERY in the Smith home

I had to look up the word "artillery" to make sure I was using it correctly.  Here’s the definitions…

1. Large-caliber weapons, such as cannon, howitzers, and missile launchers, that are operated by crews.
2. The branch of an army that specializes in the use of such weapons.
3. The science of the use of guns; gunnery.

However it’s used, my boys seem obsessed with artillery…guns, weapons, swords, bow and arrows.  WHAT’s wrong with this picture?  It’s not just the normal stuff…they’re shooting at everything…turning their sandwiches into guns, their body parts, their sports equipment, their toothbrushes, you name it!!  HELP!!  Today Ms Jeanie (the really sweet music teacher) was telling us that they are playing with toy boats and listening to music that will encourage boat "play" and she said that she allows any ideas they may come up with even if she doesn’t advocate them.  Hmmm…I wonder…like what?!?  Then she goes one…like having guns on the boat!  OH NO!  CALEB!!  He’s the one that wanted to bring guns on their pretend boat!  And then look at this fine piece of art that is hung with pride on Jacob’s door. 

I might as well face it…I’m doomed to be a MILITIA MOMMA.

I am STILL painting.  Today it’s above my cabinets, which involves two ladders, and sometimes stepping on things that weren’t meant to be stepped on, to get to the wall.  This might just be the most miserable project I’ve ever undertaken.  No really, I mean that. 🙂 

Saw a vignette on the TODAY show this morning about sleep…how much you should get, why, statistics of sleep deprivation, etc.  It was fascinating…without sleep we can be moody and irritable (duh!).  We have a higher likelihood of falling asleep on the job, at the wheel and while operating heavy machinery (uh, yeah).  We are more likely to be overweight, develop breast and colorectal cancers and to catch everyday illnesses (ok…interesting).  If we feel a need to nap during the day or if we fall asleep within 30 seconds of laying down at night, we’re sleep deprived (yeahhhhh…that’s me).

But NEVER was there any mention of the large percentage of Americans who happen to be up every night (sometimes several times….4 for me last night with a wet bed, a low fever, and two night terrors…no fun!) with young children.  What about us?!?  What cure is there for us?!?  It’s no wonder I’m moody, irritable, overweight and dead before my head hits the pillow.  I’m so stinkin’ sleep deprived!  Forget McDonald’s, PMS and stress being this country’s problems (I just threw the PMS in there for my own sake)…it’s our lack of sleep that is the demise of our great nation, I’ve decided. 

Oh, well…no rest for the weary today.