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Today I had one of those moments that will probably haunt me for a long time.

I strapped Samuel in to the jogging stroller, ready to take Jacob to school.  Jacob and Caleb always ride their bikes.  And Jacob inevitably beats me to the school and is ready to run in.  So I turned to give him a kiss and hug and hear my neighbor across the street yelling "The Baby!!".  I turn to see the jogging stroller rolling down the driveway, into the grass, and towards the street.  And I take off after it.  Before I could catch it, it rolls off the deepest part of the curb, and flips onto the street, with Samuel upside down. 

I got to it right then, flipped it back over and frantically tried to get him unbuckled.  I was crying, he was screaming, the neighbor who had watched it ran over to help us.  A woman stopped in her car to check on us.  And another neighbor walked up shortly after and was saying a prayer. 

It was AWFUL!  I’m still crying.

He’s napping now.  And seems fine…just a little banged up with minor bruising and scrapes on his head. 

After we came in Caleb was crying and I was trying to comfort him.  He said, "Mom, you said you were a bad mom."  And I realized that in my horror and tears, I said to my neighbor "I’m a bad mom".  And Caleb heard me and was upset about it.  "You’re not a bad mom", he said.  "You’re right, honey.  I’m not.  But I feel bad about not putting the brakes on."  Even in those moments, I need to watch what I say.  Probably especially in those moments.