Site Title

I can’t believe my baby is ready for Kindergarten.  But is he?  That’s the question ringing in my mind…or is it, am I ready?  That’s the heavier question to ask.  My heart aches at the thought of sending him for 7 hours every day.  The truth is that he’s more than ready.  He was born ready!  He loves to learn and will enjoy every minute of school, just like I did.  But I grieve for what I’m giving up.  (as usual, it’s all about me!)  I feel like we’re losing our innocence in some way.  Since he was born, the day I became a mother, I have been able to dictate the schedule…set the pace…do whatever we wanted, whenever.  We could stay in our pajamas until 10, eat whenever and wherever we wanted.  In fact, I told a friend the other day, this week will be the first time I’ve had to wake up to an alarm clock in almost 6 years.  I will miss waking to my own body clock.  I’ll miss being the biggest influence in his life.  And yet even as I say that I realize that Derek and I still will be…at least for a while.  I hope and pray that Mrs. Morrison will care about him, hug him when he’s feeling insecure or frustrated, smile at him a lot.  I hope she’ll be kind, patient, and loving.  It’s not that I’m always those things…but that’s what I hope for him, despite my own failings.  More than anything I’ll just miss him…miss his ranting and raving, his endless questions, and our in-depth discussions about fishing/sharks and other ocean inhabitants.  Tomorrow and Tuesday are his first days of Kindergarten.  They mark the beginning of many first days…but none will ever be quite like this one…the first of the first days.